NuncrackersSynopsis

The Nunsense Christmas Musical, NUNCRACKERS, takes place in real time in the basement of Mount Saint Helen's Convent. It is the first TV special being taped in the Cable Access Studio built by Reverend Mother with part of the prize money won earlier by Sister Mary Paul (aka Amnesia).

The cast consists of Reverend Mother Regina, Sister Mary Hubert, Sister Robert Anne, Sister Mary Paul (Amnesia), Father Virgil Manly Trott (Sister Leo's brother)and the chorus. In addition there are two young boys and three young girls (Mount Saint Helen's students).

The show is the annual Christmas program put on at Mount Saint Helen's. Opening with the rousing Christmas Time is Nunsense Time, we are introduced to the cast and are given a brief update in the past with everyone. We soon discover that we are to be treated to an original ballet based on the "Nutcracker" featuring Sister Mary Leo as the Sugar Plum Fairy. Unfortunately before Sister Leo makes her grand entrance she is hit in the shin by one of the children's batons. What to do? The show will have to proceed without the ballet until Reverend Mother can figure out to salvage it. Sister Amnesia holds a "Secret Santa" drawing to fill the time while Sister Leo is being taken care of. Amusing items are given to audience members whose seat numbers are drawn as everyone joins in singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas, the students present their own version of I'm Santa's Little Tea Pot, after which Sister Mary Annette makes a surprise appearance singing the Twelve Days Prior to Christmas.

As if there isn't already enough to deal with, word comes that the gifts under the convent Christmas tree have been stolen. Reverend Mother goes to investigate. Father Virgiltries to comfort the little girl who accidentally hit Sister Leo with her baton, by telling her a story of his past then sings a comforting ballad. Father Virgil then introduces Sister Amnesia who sings her latest country hit, Santa Ain't Comin' to Our House. Reverend Mother tells tales of her years in the circus remembering one winter storm when they were trapped in a hotel with Sophie Tucker. This is followed by Reverend Mother's song An Old Time Carnival Christmas, meanwhile the cook, Sister Julia, Child of God,who was supposed to appear, doesn't show up and so Father Virgil is forced to impersonate her demonstrating some Christmas cooking including instructions on making a fruitcake, the gift that lasts a lifetime. However, there seems to be an abundance of rum in the recipe leaving Father Virgil quite soused. Reverend Mother thinks she has a solution to the ballet problem (not realizing that Father Virgil has come up with the same solution) and the ballet goes forward. It is then that we realize both Father Virgil and Reverend Mother appear as Sugar Plum Fairies and the first act ends with the "dueling" Sugar Plum Fairies in a hilarious ballet spoof.

Act Two begins with Three Hundred Sixty-Four Days, a song about last minute shopping woes. This is followed by the "living Nativity Scene" featuring the students and Sister Robert Anne singing a beautiful ballad, Jesus Was Born in Brooklyn as she recalls the time her father returned home on Christmas Eve. The popular carol, O Come All Ye Faithful is woven throughout the song. Rev. Mother the Sisters and Father Virgil sing In the Convent (It's a Wonderful Nun-derful Life). The Saint Andrews Sisters, of Hoboken present We Three Kings of Orient Are Us! This is followed by Mother Superior and Father Virgil's introduction of the "Catholic Home Shopping Service" in which they offers some very unusual items for Christmas. When Reverend Mother is summoned upstairs to talk to the police about the stolen presents, Sister Robert Anne sings her 'big number' All I Want For Christmas. There is a "sing-a-long" based on the titles of 25 popular Christmas carols that everyone knows. As the evening moves toward the finale we discover that the gifts in the convent weren't stolen at all... Sister Amnesia had given them to a poor family. Realizing how selfish they had been, Sister Hubert leads a hand-clapping, foot-stomping, gospel song entitled It's Better to Give Than to Receive.